All Is Well, Mostly

Every summer I make it a priority to get healthy mind, spirit, and body. My husband and children can attest to it. At the end of each school year, I am exhausted to the core, and it takes the better part of the summer to work up enough courage to go another round. Don’t get me wrong, I love what I do. It’s just hard on so many levels, and by mid-June there is legitimately nothing left to give.

The first thing I do is sleep. I sleep long and hard. I nap, go to bed early, lay out in the sun soaking up some vitamin D in the sleep zone. It takes me the better part of three weeks to feel human again. It is during this time that I concentrate on exercise, eating right, and doing my daily devotions. By the end of July, I generally start gaining courage. I begin looking at the “Back To School” sections of the department stores, thinking about how I am going to tweak my lesson plans, and what subtle changes I am going to make in my classroom so that I can still find things when I need them.

Some people change their rooms around yearly and I always marvel at that. I’d seriously never be able to find a thing! My room goes back up each year the way I had it the year before with few variations. In fact, I have a pretty good idea that the class I had 8 years ago could walk in my room and find everything that was needed. Actually this makes me smile and brings me comfort. I love my classroom. It is my home away from home.

Change. I hate change. But like all things in life, things move- sometimes backward, sometimes forward. This year will be no different. I am facing a new math program that I am not looking forward to implementing, but I am trying to keep an open mind. I’m going to work a little harder at diversifying, which I think is funny- because it’s just a fancy way of saying “tracking”, which was the practice when I was in school. Teaching has a way of coming around full circle. They just give it a new name.

Change is an ugly word. I know that some people think that it is progressive and healthy, but I hate it. If it were up to me, I’d never change a thing. But my fighting it, isn’t going to stop it. Relationships change, professions change, finances change, and health changes. Maybe change is so difficult because it is unpredictable, and risky: things could get better or they could get worse. For me- I like the conservative route.

Maybe that is why I cling to my faith so much. My belief system is the one thing that remains constant and the promises are the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Sometimes I wonder, “What if I’m all wrong?” But the answer to myself is always, “In the end, I’ll have lost nothing but I have so much to gain.” If my faith has made me a more caring individual with high value systems and even higher standards for myself, then I have lost nothing.

This summer I have been fluctuating between two different studies: one about my attitude and one about important women in the bible who made a difference. I’ve come to a few conclusions. One, how successful the inevitable change is, depends on my attitude. I could go into it kicking and screaming, or I could embrace it as an opportunity to learn and grow- even if what I learn is what doesn’t work. Two, don’t be too critical of other people’s mistakes. Most likely you have or will make a similar one yourself and you don’t want others being too hard on you. Three, sometimes you need to hear that you do something right- even if it is your own self talk. I know where my shortcomings are. I don’t need anyone to point them out to me. What I do need is validation and encouragement. Four, I need to practice meekness. Meekness isn’t weakness. It is the use of controlled, well thought out responses full of wisdom.

So, as I amble on through the “stuff” of life, I am formulating a plan so that I can endure the race of the next year with stamina and class. I am going to gravitate toward those people who truly lift me up and encourage me to be the best me I can be. I am going to give change an honest chance and learn from it regardless of the outcome. I am going to encourage others, with the hope that they will reciprocate, and be okay if they do not. Finally, I am going to be slower to respond so that what comes out of my mouth is controlled and well thought out.

Ultimately, there are always going to be people out there who are going to criticise and notice all of the shortfalls. It is the way of the world. It is my job to keep looking up, keep thinking positively, and surround myself with positive influences. I will keep putting one foot in front of the other by the grace of God, trusting that He will hold me and my family firmly in the palm of HIs great hand.

In this life full of challenges and changes, I’ll take mostly all right.

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