A Song In My Heart

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This week I was able to wear sandals to school. It was a big deal after a very long winter. The snow is finally melting. I’ve seen some sunshine, and taken a few walks.

One morning I was blessed with eight deer grazing on the back lawn during a sunrise. Despite some rather challenging circumstances, these blessings have carried me through the first week back after school vacation. Moreover, I have had the opportunity to have rich conversations about faith, hope, and love with some special friends and family. This has improved my mood, and as a result, I’ve been playing the radio and tapping my freshly painted toes to the radio.

As I sit in the window overlooking the valley, my first thought is that I am thankful for spiritual supports and friends who “ironically” show up at just the right moments. In my travels, special songs seem to hit the spot at just the right moment and the lyrics “talk” to my soul like the sweet dance of the ocean waves. Another coincidence?

This week I have been listening particularly closely to the David Crowder Band. “I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory… and how great Your affections are for me.” My heart melts with the message that He loves me no matter what and that He is jealous for me. It leaves me wondering why? What’s so great about me?

My recent “ah ha” is that everyone goes through crap. Some people’s pile is deeper than other’s, but we all have it and it all stinks. The difference is that those who profess faith are watched more carefully than others. Observers want to see how I respond to trials and if I “walk the walk”, and “mean what I say”. It’s how observers can tell if my belief system is genuine so I have a huge responsibility.

Another recent realization is that sometimes trials are not about ME. Perhaps I’m being used by my Maker to teach others a lesson. Wow! “If it’s true, you use broken things, then here I am Lord, I’m all yours.” (Matthew West) I’ve been broken, twisted, stomped on, and dragged through the valley. I mess up regularly, and am absolutely not a perfect example. However, I do try each day to live my life in a way that is honorable and glorifying. There is nothing special about me, and I don’t say that to fish for a compliment. I have money challenges, battle with my weight, fight internally with jealousy, and my self-confidence wanes just like everyone else. I know that I am not the most talented teacher, parent, wife, sibling, community or staff member, but I just keep plugging along. “Though I fall, He makes me new…He pleads my cause and rights my wrongs. ” (Lauren Daigle) I often pray for relief. I’m not going to lie. I am no different from anyone. I have a sweet friend praying desperately for her dog, doubly challenged by the recent passing of her mother. She is faithful, and kind, and doesn’t deserve the pain. I have another who is up to her eyeballs in the evils of the world and her family is saddened by recent events in the area. Why? Why do the faithful, the ones who live each day, trying to live as an example of faithfulness find themselves drowning? “When he doesn’t move the mountains or part the water, as I cry out to him, I have had to learn to trust”.  (Lauren Daigle) His love surrounds me. I need to keep doing what I am told to do and trust that God has this all figured out. He is using me for His glory. My only hope is to trust in my Maker because “he is the anchor and his love surrounds us in the eye of the storm.” (Ryan Stevenson)

 

There is a better life to look forward to. What a wonderful promise that I will live in eternity separated from the evil and sadness of the world. He is a “pain taker, way maker, and a chain breaker.” (Zach Williams) “See ya later”, will be a whole lot easier to say than “good-bye” and it’s my job to demonstrate to all that I am in contact with, the blessings and promises of our Lord. I have to ask myself, that if He guarded me from hardships, how could he use me for his good work?

I have to keep moving forward, and cast my fear into the fire. “Fear is a liar, he will take your breath and stop (me) in (my) steps”. (Zach Williams) “There is power in the name of Jesus” (Jesus Culture) and I prefer to follow Him. What if I’m all wrong? I’ve lost nothing and learned to live as a more quality human being, but if I’m right, I have everything to gain. So if my faith gives me courage to face each new unpredictable day, and gives me comfort and hope in an eternal life with those I love most, and reminds me to love everyone- even the ones who have not earned it, or hurt me, I have lost nothing. So today, I thank the music ministry that has reminded me in lyrics that stick in my brain throughout my daily routines, that God loves me, and that there is “power in the name of Jesus” (Tasha Cobbs). You’ve kept me sane. Thank you.
“The sun comes up
It’s a new day dawning
It’s time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass
And whatever lies before me
Let me be singing
When the evening comes”
(Matt Redman)
“When we realize we’re helplessly dependent on God, we’re in a good place”  (Lisa Appelo)
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