Sometimes I have to remind myself to stop, close my eyes and listen, or to simply look up. I am constantly in motion, always making a mental list of what needs to happen next. Sometimes I have to remind myself to enjoy the moment and not to live life as if it is one big “to-do” list. I catch myself thinking, “There, that’s almost done, now what?” I know better. I tell myself to “cut that out”, but sometimes I ignore myself. As a result, I miss out on the blessings of the moment.
I am currently enjoying a soft breeze and an 80 degree haze that surrounds our 7+ acres. I am listening to noisy chickadees calling out, the gentle lull of the wind, and an airplane in the distance. I am so blessed by the peacefulness of my surroundings. Perhaps I notice it more because I just returned from NYC with my daughter and I was surrounded by noise, lights, constant motion, and wall to wall people. Perhaps experiencing the extremes has helped me to take notice. Could it be that I am finally beginning to catch my breath after a horrendous Spring?
I am reminded that a wise person listens, watches, and is slow to respond. I have to admit that I am not always wise. My lethal tongue gets me into hot water, often unintentionally. I spend a big part of my life monitoring my speech, and a good portion of my life rethinking what I have said and how I should have said it differently. If only I had just stopped and thought it through.
When I need to heal there are certain things that bring me back from spinning into the ozone. I am an organizer by trade. It is so much a part of who I am, (that I cannot tame), so I just go with it. I am a Type A perfectionist who spends her life trying to organize everybody and everything that will cooperate. I am jealous of the people who just go with the flow, play, and don’t spend their time worrying about what’s to come.
My solution is to make a checklist for myself to get healthy and relax: read my bible (check), go for a walk (check), eat a good healthy meal (check), drink plenty of water (check), read a good book for pleasure (check), take a fun field trip with the family (check), ice cream, coffee, candles, good movie… (check, check, check, check). Yes, I am ridiculous but it does seem to help.
But what happens when _________ and you don’t want to dwell on it, and you don’t want to plan for it, but in your mind you have to acknowledge it, and at least have a clue about what you are going to do when _________, and you can’t make plans, and you want to relax but your guts are in a knot?
Relaxing for people like me can be a lot of work, mind over matter, with constant restraint over the fight or flight instinct that wants to take over. So, for today I will close my eyes and listen to the gentle whisper in the wind that tells me to “Breathe. Just breathe.”