It is amazing what a little sleep, summer sun, family time, a BBQ or two, a boatload of coffee, ice cream, snuggles from fuzzy pets, mindless movies, a good book, some peppy music, and a nap will do to bring me back to life. I am starting to feel like part of the human race again.
It’s been a rough Spring. For us, April came in like a lion and that lion stayed to visit through June 17th. I don’t like lions.
I’ve had lessons to learn. The hardest to swallow is that it is alright to be simply be EFFECTIVE. I don’t feel like I do anything with top notch quality any more. I am simply spread too thin. The workaholic, 4.0 driven, highly effective teacher, wife, daughter, sister, mother, or friend is just average. It is hard to swallow, but I have accepted it. It is the way it needs to be right now in order to stay sane.
In the midst of my average output, I am grateful. I am so happy that my family is more stable so I can focus on me. For the first time in years, I am not taking any classes over the summer and I am not teaching Summer School. I’m not even reading a professional text. Instead, I am looking forward to spending quality time with the people I love the most.
I have let things go. I am going with the flow. I am determined not to stress about things I don’t have any control over and just do what I can. It goes against everything that I am made up of. I am not making plans very far in advance. I am taking advantage of every opportunity to take a drive, go for a swim, garden and mow the lawn with my favorite man, because I don’t know what tomorrow will bring. Nobody does.
Last summer, we wondered if it were the last time for haying, mowing at the farm, and tending to the family farm’s many gardens…and it was. So this summer, I will live like it is the last time, and pray that it isn’t. I don’t want one single regret. Not one.