I have grown up hearing from my mother, that patience is a virtue and that the best things in life come to those who wait. God never promised us a rose garden. Since she is one of the smartest women I know, she must be right. It seems like I have spent the better part of my life WAITING. With the amount of hours that I have logged into it, I must be a professional.
As a child, we were never on time. We were always waiting for my parents. It would be easy to blame this all on Mom, but the truth is, it was often Dad. The faster my brother, my sister, and I tried to hurry him, the slower the man went. It was so frustrating. It got to the point, where we told my parents that concerts and important events started a half hour sooner so that they would be on time. If Mom was driving, they would come squealing in on 2 tires “late” but actually on time. Dad was and still is, always in the horse barn or turning compost at the time we are scheduled to leave, and most often, you’d find him in his sweat pants. <eyes are rolling>
Once I became a mother, waiting continued. I waited for my children to be weaned, to get out of diapers, for teeth, learning to walk, to make a ball/dance team… Each milestone was something I could cross off my mental “to-do” list. We waited for driver’s licenses, for college acceptance letters, and adulthood. The waiting continues as we wait for more weddings, grandchildren, graduations, jobs, and job promotions. I couldn’t be more proud of our babies, and to date, it all has been worth the wait.
Grandchildren have been more than worth the wait and we are looking forward to boatloads of them. My dream is to hit the jackpot so that I don’t have to teach anymore and can spend my life being a Nanny to our grandchildren. I can’t think of a better job. Seriously. I could just go from one household to the other spoiling each and every one of them rotten. They have been, and will continue to be well worth the wait.
Sometimes waiting is pretty rough. I can’t help but think about the old Garth Brooks song, “Unanswered Prayers” and the message the chorus shares:
“Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers
Remember when you’re talkin’ to the man upstairs
That just because he doesn’t answer doesn’t mean he don’t care
Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers”
It seems like all I have done over the past few years is wait and pray, and pray and wait. I suspect that God is refining me for a larger purpose. I wonder if some of God’s greatest gifts to me is going to be my unanswered prayers, and I wonder how that can be. Over the past 2 years, my husband and I have waited and prayed through the loss of two jobs, job applications, denial for Unemployment Compensation, fought our way through a year long credit card related scam, navigated through doctor’s appointments, hired four different lawyers, been denied Disability twice, borrowed and were gifted more than we can ever repay, and fought and scratched to keep our home afloat by doing family projects at our nearby family farm. I have cried, begged, and pleaded for answers that either went unanswered or we are still waiting for.
Since there is no cure for Frontotemporal Dementia (FTD), I suspect that God is getting me prepared for my next big challenge. My husband’s declination is something that I want to wait for for a very long time. I don’t know how many good clear years we have left, but I am determined to make them the very best. We won’t wait to go look at the Christmas lights. We won’t hold off before we see Acadia National Park again, or to climb Mt. Katahdin. Our main focus will be to scratch those things off our Bucket List now. Too bad if the house isn’t perfect and the gardens need weeding. We will focus on the important things: each other, spending time with our children, our family, and friends. No more of “I’m too busy, I’ll do it later.” What would you do if you were told you had just a few good quality years left with your spouse? What would you refuse to wait for?
From a spiritual standpoint, I know that God uses all things for good for those who love him and are called according to his purpose. I know that I don’t need to fear the future because God is in control of it all. I know that bad things happen to good people and that there are not always good reasons for why we go through tough times. I get that. I really do. I can’t imagine going through life without God and without his promises. My prayer is that I continue to follow His commandments, be faithful in my walk, and to stay positive and encouraging to my family and friends until it is my turn. In the end, I believe with all my heart that it will be worth the wait.